


the space that's in between insane and insecure

by irritates



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 23:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irritates/pseuds/irritates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry,” he repeats, soft, over and over and over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."</p><p>i should be ashamed of this, but what is fandom for if not for vague angst?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the space that's in between insane and insecure

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, soft, over and over and over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

It comes out like a prayer. He’s on his knees, still in the spot where he finally collapsed to the ground. The words are barely more than a rush of air, blending together as the meaning turns to static. But TK’s eyes are blue, so blue, and as she watches they begin to swim. Kari might not be able to hear the words, not quite, but the message in those eyes spills out in waves. The regret is clear as it tracks down his face, eroding his cheeks.

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_

She remembers how bright they had seemed, once. Young and shiny and full of life, and it feels so far away and she feels something catch in her throat, some longing for a time long gone. But she’s not sure it ever existed, really, not for them. A loneliness strikes her then, the same one he must surely be feeling, and even though they’re only a few feet apart it’s as if an ocean has stretched itself between them, isolating them from each other, from themselves.

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_

His head bows with the weight of it, the guilt, as if he cannot bear to meet her eyes any longer. And for a moment, just a moment, Kari is angry. Hysterically, spectacularly angry. Why does he always do this? It’s always his responsibility, always his fault. Why can’t he see that there was nothing he could’ve done, nothing anyone could’ve done. That she’s as much to blame, more to blame, than anyone. But as soon as the anger happens it’s gone, and all she’s left with is a gaping hole, an emptiness that threatens to swallow her whole. His mantra ghosts through the air between them.

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_

She reaches out to him then, tries to lift his head, kneeling down, needing to look him in the eye. Maybe, just maybe if he looks into her eyes he’ll know, he’ll understand. He can’t seem to lift his head, not quite, but he turns into the hand cupping his cheek. His lips move, the _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_ pressing itself against her palm. _It’s okay_ , Kari wants to tell him. _I know, I know, I know_. But the words don’t seem to come. She’s not sure he would hear her anyway.

He’s close, so close, but he’s so far away, and the emptiness is overwhelming. Kari pulls blindly, needing him to be closer, needing him to understand, needing to be forgiven herself. TK’s response is instantaneous, automatic. She buries herself into his neck as his  _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_ breathes hot across hers. He clings to her desperately, holds on too tight, as if at any moment she could disappear.

Some moments, Kari thinks she might.

They stay like that for a while, a tangled huddle of limbs. And it hurts, she knows she will have marks from where he holds her, knows that she’s leaving marks just as deeply on him. But it’s safe, it’s so safe, and they’re alive, and that thought alone might be enough, just enough to keep the darkness at bay. The _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_ slowly begins to dissolve, and she thinks she can feel the tightness in TK’s chest loosen just a bit from where she has pressed herself against it. It lingers in the spaces between them, and she grips him tighter, needing him to know that he’s forgiven, always forgiven. The words finally come then, forcing their way out of her in a strangled sob.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, staining his collar with tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”


End file.
